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How to Negotiate an Alimony Agreement

March 18, 2025 O'Connor Family Law Divorce

Alimony, also known as spousal support, is a court-ordered payment meant to help a spouse stay financially stable after a divorce. The goal is to ensure they can maintain a lifestyle similar to what they had during the marriage. It is not one-sided—either spouse can receive alimony, though it is typically awarded to the one with a lower or no income.

Negotiating alimony can be one of the trickiest parts of a divorce. It is not just about numbers—it is about financial security, fairness, and moving forward. Here is what you should consider, whether you are the one seeking alimony or being asked to pay alimony.

What Sort of Alimony Is Available?

In Massachusetts, there are four different types of alimony that may be awarded: 

  1. General Term Alimony: Ongoing payments made to a financially dependent ex-spouse. The amount and duration are typically based on the length of the marriage.
  1. Rehabilitative Alimony: Temporary support designed to help a spouse become financially independent. Often used when the recipient needs time to gain job skills or education.
  1. Reimbursement Alimony: Support awarded to compensate a spouse for financial contributions made during the marriage, such as funding a partner’s education or supporting them while they pursued career opportunities. 
  1. Transitional Alimony: Short-term payments designed to help a spouse adjust to life after divorce. This is often used for relocation or easing into a new lifestyle. Can be paid as a lump sum or in installments.

What Goes Into Deciding How Much Alimony Is Paid Out?

Alimony is calculated based on several factors. Courts typically consider the length of the marriage, each spouse’s income and financial resources, their earning potential, and the standard of living established during the marriage. Other factors include the age and health of both parties, their contributions to the marriage (both financial and non-financial), and any sacrifices one spouse made, such as leaving a career to support the household or raise children.

If the parties cannot agree on alimony, the court will make determinations of alimony based on the evidence. However, it is in the parties’ best interest to negotiate a spousal support agreement without intervention of the court. After all, the soon-to-be-divorced couple, despite having problems in the marriage, is often in a better position to figure this out than a judge who does not necessarily understand the dynamics of the marriage.

How Do I Figure Out What’s Fair?

When alimony is fair, both people can feel more at ease and confident about their finances. It takes some of the stress out of the process and makes it easier for both to move forward and start fresh after the divorce. But “fairness” can mean different things depending on your unique situation. Here are some things that you want to consider if you are the one seeking alimony or if you are the one who is possibly going to pay alimony.

If you are seeking alimony, start by figuring out exactly what you need financially. This includes your monthly living expenses, but also any special costs like medical bills or job training that could help you become more independent. The length of your marriage matters too—longer marriages are more likely to result in alimony, especially if one spouse was the primary earner while the other stayed home or had limited income. In those cases, longer-term or rehabilitative alimony is more common. It’s also important to highlight the financial gap between you and your ex. If your income is significantly lower, or if you made sacrifices during the marriage (like leaving a career to raise kids), showing how this impacts your ability to maintain a similar lifestyle can strengthen your case for support. 

If you are the one paying alimony, it is important to know what to expect. The amount and length of payments depend on things like both spouses’ finances, how much your ex can support themselves, and how long you were married. Having a clear idea of what you might owe can help you plan ahead. If you think the requested amount is too high, you have the right to negotiate. In some cases, rehabilitative alimony might make more sense instead of long-term payments, especially if your ex can eventually support themselves.

Remember – alimony is not set in stone. Alimony modifications are possible, depending on changes in circumstances. 

How Does the Process Work?

While divorce is a highly emotional event, deciding alimony does have to do with the numbers. In starting the process, then, both spouses have to lay out all of their assets, as well as their debts, and figure out expenses. 

Both spouses need to be upfront about their finances, including income, expenses, debts, and assets. Trying to hide money or skipping important paperwork can backfire, blowing up negotiations with your spouse or leading to losing credibility in front of a judge. To avoid this, be transparent about your income, assets, and financial obligations. 

Take the time to gather and organize all key financial documents to ensure a smooth process. This includes pay stubs to show your income, tax returns to provide a full financial picture, bank statements to track cash flow and savings, and expense reports to outline your monthly costs.

It’s also a good idea to create a realistic post-divorce budget that reflects your actual needs, helping you secure a fair and manageable outcome. Start by listing your essential expenses, such as housing, utilities, groceries, insurance, and transportation.

Contact an Experienced Alimony Attorney in Massachusetts

Understanding the different types of alimony, knowing what’s reasonable to expect, and having the right alimony attorney in your corner can make the process much smoother. Whether you are seeking support or being asked to pay, a well-thought-out approach can help ensure a fair outcome that works for both parties in the long run.

It is best for the former couple to agree on alimony rather than have a court decide. However, it is important to have any agreement looked at by an experienced alimony attorney, who can advise whether the agreement reflects the parties’ needs, both current and future. Contact our office today for immediate assistance.